By guest blogger Nikka Jonesy
If you are new (or not so new) to latin dancing, you have taken a few lessons to get an idea of the basic moves and feel ready to venture into the dance floor, here is some advice for you.
There are a few things you should know, regardless of your technical level of dance, to successfully approach a girl at a Latin dance club or social to ask for a dance and to make such a good impression that she will keep you on her “guys I have to dance with list”.
1.- Never approach me with a drink in your hand. I want to know that I am more important than your Cuba Libre or beer.
2.- If I am sitting alone with another man you do not have to ask his permission to dance with me. But it would be polite to acknowledge his presence. A simple good evening, a nod and a smile will suffice.
3.- Sometimes the music is loud, so get close enough to me so that I do not have to read your lips to understand what you are asking, I know it is pretty obvious, but it is nice to actually hear what you say and how you say it. At the same time, please respect our personal space, both as you ask me to dance and while you dance with me.
4.- You do not have to be drop-dead gorgeous. All I want is for you to be clean, smell nice, have fresh breath and not be too sweaty (you changed your t-shirt in the washroom not too long ago).
5.- The best thing to say is simply: "Hello! Would you like to dance?" Do not try to impress me with witty one-liners. Most of the time they are just silly, and unless you are a professional comedian, they will always fall flat.
6.- Smile a lot and ask me to dance as if you are really sure I am going to enjoy dancing with you. I do not like wishy-washy kind of guys.
7.- If for some reason I have to decline, I will do it as politely as possible, I will say thank you, smile, give you a reason and propose that you come look for me for the next song or sometime later. Please, do come back.
8.- Never, never ask me to dance after my girlfriend sitting next to me has just rejected you. That is like telling me that I am your second choice. Big NO-NO. But do not worry too much. First I will slap my friend upside the head for being rude. Then I will get up, look you up and ask you to dance, and while we are having fun on the dancefloor, I will glance her way, smile and mouth the words: "Eat your heart out!"
9.- Never mention your level or my level before you actually dance with me. If you are a professional dancer, chances are I have already seen you on the floor. If you are a beginner, I will notice within five seconds. No matter, if you give it your best shot and you are courteous, I will have a good time and I will be looking forward to dancing with you again, to see how you are improving.
10.- Do not try to impress me right at the beginning by trying to lead me through a super complicated pattern that includes a lift and a quadruple spin. I don’t want you to make me dance or to dance at me. I want you to dance with me and I want to dance with you. Whatever we do on the dancefloor has to make both of us look and feel good. Be present. Look at me, smile a lot. It’s ok to talk as much as the loud music allows us to. Did I mention to smile?
11.- I will learn a lot about your character by the way you react if either of us makes a mistake. I am not perfect and I do not expect you to be either. Apologize if you feel the need but smile and carry on. If we are involved in a collision the polite thing to do is to stop and check is everyone is OK. Apologize, even if it wasn’t your fault and move on.
12.- Do not take me on the floor to dance if what you want is to show-off to your buddies standing on the edge of the floor with their smartphones. If I realize that all you want is to have a hot video so you can post it on social media without my consent, you will find yourself standing alone in the middle of the floor faster than you can say YouTube.
13.- Do not dip me, lift me or do anything of the kind, even if you are an expert, unless we have practiced dips together in a safe, controlled environment. I know, nine out of ten times nothing bad will happen but believe you me, you will be sorry if there is an accident and as usual the girl is the one getting hurt. Besides, out of respect for the safety of other dancers, that sort of move is reserved for shows.
14.- Start with the idea that we are going to dance one song only. Never assume that you can keep me on the floor by simply continuing to dance. Maybe I promised the next song to someone else. You wouldn’t want me to look bad. The polite thing to do is to stop and to offer your hand to walk me safely off the floor. If I really want to keep dancing with you I will ask you if it is OK if we stay on the floor.
15.- Always walk me to the floor and back to my seat. This is the mark of a true gentleman. Other women in the club looking at us will be even more ready to say yes if you ask them to dance if they know you are good-mannered.
Ever wondered why in clubs girls go to the washroom in pairs? We do not need our girlfriend there just to pass us the toilet paper. In case your older sister never told you, we go there to talk about guys. Reputations can be quickly made or destroyed at a social or a club. Act accordingly.